


Behind closed doors

by PrettyCalypso



Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Bram is very much in love with Simon (and Jacques), Canon - Movie, M/M, POV Bram Greenfeld, and that awfully awkward kiss, the Halloween party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-04-24 00:25:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14344086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrettyCalypso/pseuds/PrettyCalypso
Summary: Bram's train of thoughts during the Halloween party.





	Behind closed doors

**Author's Note:**

> A little extension I wrote following movie canon because, as much as I love the book, I think it was missing that bonding between Simon and Bram and that awesome Halloween Party.

 

Three things should be noticed:  
1\. Bram Greenfeld had a huge crush on Simon Spier.  
2\. Bram Greenfeld was also falling desperately in love with his anonymous Gmail penpal, Jacques.  
3\. Bram Greenfeld was very drunk.  
Needless to say, the combination of these three elements made him confused and prompted to bad decisions.

  
The night had been going great so far, everybody seemed to be having fun at his party, and he had spent a significant amount of time with Simon, making his heart flutter in ridiculous butterflies. But after singing a rather awful duet to a Justin Bieber's love song on Garrett's karaoke machine, Bram felt weird – almost nauseated (and that was a feeling he knew oh too well) – at the idea that he had reached new level of gayness and had not only risked being outed by his sudden closeness with Simon, but also was considering coming clean (and out) to his crush. He didn't know if it was the alcohol talking or his daily correspondence with Jacques that made him brave, but as he was watching Simon drunkenly sing about wanting to get laid, Bram felt the sudden urge to jump on the makeshift stage and kiss him. It would have felt like a betrayal to Jacques though. And a waaayyy too public way of coming out, there was no going back from it. Was he ready to commit to such a thing with Simon? What if he wasn't gay? And what about Jacques? Bram liked to hope that Simon and Jacques were one and the same person, and there were some clues that could lead him to such a conclusion, but they were too sparse for him to be sure. Maybe he was just hoping, maybe he just wanted his crush to be the person he was emailing about his deepest secrets, and maybe he just wanted to give that anonymous person over the Internet the face of his crush.

  
Simon finished his song – or rather fell of the stage – and Bram realized he had been staring. From the corner of his eyes, he saw one of the cheerleaders, Melissa, looking at him. According to the guy on his soccer team, Melissa was the only one competing with Abby in terms of sexiness. Bram just nodded along when they had this type of conversations. Objectively she was pretty for sure, but she was no Simon Spier. He smiled politely at her. She smiled back and she started walking in his direction. His heart was beating too fast and this little voice in the back of his head kept nagging him, telling him that if he rejected her she would immediately know why. Jacques had had girlfriends after all, maybe Bram ought to try it too.

  
She stopped too close to him, and the words were out of his mouth before he could stop them.  
"Do you want to see my room?"

  
***  
  


This was his first kiss. This, with this random girl at a party, was his first kiss, and he was hating himself for it. He was usually way more romantic than that, and sober Bram had wished his first kiss would be with Jacques (or Simon), but drunk Bram was obviously a moron and a coward. Yet, he was hoping he was doing it right. Was his head at the right angle? Were his hands in the right place? She seemed okay with it.

  
And then the door opened. Bram would have been thankful for the interruption if he didn't see Simon's face in the door frame, if he didn't meet his eyes. Was it just his imagination or did Simon look hurt? Maybe he was really just looking for the bathroom and Bram was hoping again. But what if Simon had been looking for him? What if he had waited five more minutes before inviting Melissa to his room? Maybe he could have been making out with Simon right about now. His wishful thinking was getting the best of him again, and Melissa's voice snapped him out of it.

  
"I think I need to go back there and make sure they don't destroy the house." he excused himself, surprised at how quickly he had found an excuse and at how eloquently he had expressed it, as if Simon's interruption had acted as a cold shower, sobering him up.

  
He left Melissa behind in his room, and returned to his party. Most of the guests were passed out somewhere or leaving, so he went to the kitchen and started gathering empty cups and bottles in a large trash bag, trying not to think about how royally he had fucked up...

 

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave kudos and/or comments. And you can also come talk and share with me on my [tumblr](http://ilostmylifeonline.tumblr.com/), it's always appreciated. :)


End file.
